Baseball BeatOctober 28, 2004
By Rich Lederer
RIP The Curse of the Bambino 1918-2004

The Curse of the Bambino died last night in St. Louis. He passed away in front of a national television audience. The Curse was 86 years old.

The Curse battled to the bitter end and was only three outs away this postseason from extending his life. He will be missed by all who knew and loved him.

The Curse touched four generations of family, friends, and foes alike. His life spanned 16 presidents (from Woodrow Wilson to George W. Bush), two World Wars, The Great Depression, and The Cold War. It included World Series heartbreaks in 1946, 1967, 1975, and 1986 in which the BoSox lost the seventh and deciding game every time.

The Curse was preceded in death by Jimmie Foxx, Lefty Grove, and Ted Williams. He is survived by starting pitchers Derek Lowe, Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, and Tim Wakefield; relief pitchers Bronson Arroyo, Alan Embree, Keith Foulke, Curtis Leskanic, Mike Myers, and Mike Timlin; catchers Doug Mirabelli and Jason Varitek; infielders Mark Bellhorn, Orlando Cabrera, Doug Mientkiewicz, Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller, David Ortiz, Pokey Reese, and Kevin Youkilis; and outfielders Johnny Damon, Gabe Kapler, Trot Nixon, Manny Ramirez, and Dave Roberts.

Services will be held this weekend throughout Red Sox Nation. Eulogies will be offered by Johnny Pesky and Bill Buckner. Pallbearers will include Mel Parnell, Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Lonborg, Carlton Fisk, Luis Tiant, Dwight Evans, Fred Lynn, Jim Rice, Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens, Mo Vaughn, and Nomar Garciaparra.

In lieu of flowers, members of the Red Sox Nation are asked to make donations to help re-sign free agents such as Cabrera, Lowe, Martinez, and Varitek.


Rich, this is very clever and perfectly executed.

I won't miss the curse. Now that it's dead The Rivalry can only improve.

Rich, great obit. Someone else has a similarly warped sense of humor - it's a gas....